


The Truth About Love

by AnaBolena



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Canon Divergence, Cheating, Dean Angst, Dean Fluff, Dean Smut, Death, F/M, Fluff, Hunting, Monsters, P!nk - Freeform, Sex, Smut, Supernatural - Freeform, Violence, female x dean, long series, the thruth about love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-19
Updated: 2017-02-25
Packaged: 2018-08-23 10:11:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 13
Words: 13,459
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8323885
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnaBolena/pseuds/AnaBolena
Summary: This series is based on P!nk cd The truth about love, each chapter is inspired by one song.The story won't be in chronological order and is gonna switch from differents point of views.





	1. All We Are (Loosely based on Are We All We Are)

_2001_

“Here...” Dean hands you the box after he takes it off the white paper bag.

“It supposedly has instruction inside, I dunno… I guess you know what to do with it?”

“Excuse me!?” You can’t believe what he just assumed. “Do you think I’ve done this before, Dean?”

“I-I’m… no, I just…Aaaghhh” Both his big hands go to his hair as you walk to the small motel room bathroom. “No, Y/N. That’s not what I meant!”

You heard his words but don’t reply ripping open the packages and pulling your clothes down, you open your legs and position the stick the way the drawn instructions show, a tiny shiver run down your spine when it finally happens.

“Dude!” You shout when Dean walks in the bathroom with you.

“What? Is not like I haven’t seen it! And if it is positive Imma be there with you all the time!” He makes himself comfortable on the edge of the tub and checks his watch. “Three minutes right?”

“I thought you never done this before?” You wipe discretely under his gaze. “Yeah, three minutes.” You sigh and pull your clothes up, flushing the toilet and seating over the closed lid. “Why did you just assume, I’m gonna have it?” You ask harshly, why would he make decisions over your body?

“Because is mine too!” He retorts with a worse tone than yours.

“You weren’t so sure about that an hour ago!” After a few seconds you look at him again. “Besides if I decide to… Not terminate it, I won’t keep it.”

“What?” He’s fuming.

“Well, yeah! What the fuck did you think? We’re 20, we’re hunters and we’re not together… Did you just thought we were gonna get out of the life buy a house on the suburbs and be happy forever? That don’t happen to us, Dean! Open your eyes, we’re screwed!”

“Don’t think like that, Y/N…” He sounds miserable, like he thought about that, like he wants that apple pie life.

“What, suddenly you’re an optimist? We are all we ever gonna be, look around. Your dad, mine… Every hunter you’d met. There’s no happy life for us?” He’s up from his seat and walking towards you; he kneels on the floor in front of the toilet and surprises you when he takes your hands in his.

“Y/N, this could be our exit to a happy life.”

“Dean, don’t do this.” You whisper trying to conceal the knot in your throat.

“Think about it, Y/N… Sammy got out, we can too.” The thought is tempting.

You never thought about getting out, but know your mind is playing the tape of a small blond boy running towards Dean in a perfectly mowed lawn as he climbs out of his baby after a long day of work and you in the kitchen taking a pie out of the oven. The bubble pops and his wrist watch alarm goes off. You look at him straight into those green eyes. He nods and you smile feeling his thumb brush a stranded tear away from your cheek.

Taking a deep breath you grab the pee covered stick. “Not pregnant.” You snort.

 

“Y/N,” Dean stops you from walking out the motel door by the arm.

“You did picture it, right?”

“I don’t know what you talking about; I told you I wasn’t gonna have it.” You lie, pushing back the sob that crawls up.

“Y/N, please, please… Are we all we are?” He blinks and tears stream down, your heart shatters and the spalls fly all over your ribcage.

“Yes, Dean… We are. Bye”


	2. I had enough!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little angst, smut, period sex. Loosely inspired on P!nk - Blow Me (One last kiss)

_2011_

“I’m so fucking tired of this!!” She laughs hysterically; I still don’t know how we got here again. “I-I think I’ve finally had enough, Dean. I can’t do it anymore!” Both her hands are on her dirty hair and she pulls in different directions, it must hurt but she’s still laughing, she can act like some psycho bitch sometimes.

“This is IT for us!” My knuckles go white and my jaw clenches shut, I can’t believe she just said that. Why? Why does she always want to run away? Her hands drop to her sides and she wants to sidestep me.

“Baby, stop!” I try to reach out to her but she takes a step back. I lift my hands coz I’m trying to restrain her or anything; I just want to touch her. “Y/N, please! I know I’m hard to deal with and that we fight all the time about… well, about everything. But I love you and you love me! And you can’t always threat me with the same-”

“Is not a threat Dean! I’m dead serious, I’m walking out!”

“Then you can’t, I won’t let you leave just like that, not after everything we’ve been through!” I tower over her, she can’t leave me… She stops me with placing freaking her cold hand in my chest, why they’re always so cold!?

“This isn’t High School Musical, Troy!” “What?” I have no idea what’s she’s talking about, High School Musical? She rolls her eyes like I should know, maybe I should, probably we saw the movie together.

“Dean, we fight constantly! I know the last couple of month kicked our asses… We’ve lost Bobby and Cas, and Sam is… I don’t know where the fuck he is. But we’re losing each other as well! You’re always drunk and I’m always mad and yelling… I’m fucking yelling right now!!” She ‘s yelling but I haven’t notices till now.

“Then stop.” I whisper to her to make my point grabbing her by the arms, to contain her “It’s been a shitty day… and week-”

“It’s been a shitty fucking year!” She interrupts.

“But,” I start again. “You’re my rock Y/N! You keep me sane. I won’t make it without you!” she closes her eyes, the black make up she applied yesterday or the day before is smeared all over, she’s beautiful all the same.

She takes a deep breath and for a moment I think I might have convinced her until her eyes flutter open and all I can see in her is anger. “You’re so full of shit! You don’t even look for me anymore.”

“Wha-what?”

“Don’t play fucking dumb! When you’re not passed out of that old dusty couch, you’re out there, on the woods doing god’s know what! Or some bar getting wasted and probably flirting your way around like the man slut you are!”

“Hey!”

“Shut up! You don’t want to be with me here, Dean! You may not be saying it but you’re pushing me away!” She slips through my fingers and rushes to the little room at the back of the cabin we share and locks the door behind her.

I follow her and slam my fist on the old wooden door when I hear the drawers open and close, she’s packing. “Y/N, don’t do something you’ll regret!” I shout and that’s when the door is yank open and I almost fall on top of her.

“Are you fucking threatening me now!?” I can see the fury in her eyes, the little snarl on the bridge of her nose and her brow furrow and I just can’t resist it.

It’s been so long since I had a taste of her I’ve almost forgot how sweet she is and the way her rip lips feel against mine. And she’s so fucking responsive, moaning into my mouth as I walk her backwards into the room, arching her back when I suck greedily on her delicious nipples.

She’s so fucking wet and ready, I remove my fingers from her and bring them to my mouth, this is gonna be quick, I know, I can’t lose the chance to taste her juices.

“No.” she grabs my wrist before my mouth reaches my waiting mouth. I look down; she’s in her fucking period. This has never stopped us before and I won’t stop us now. I wipe my hand in my flannel before I take it off and place it on the bed, for her to lie on top.

I can push in all the way without any resistant, that’s how fucking ready she is. I can’t believe it’s been more than 2 weeks since I had her wrapped around me. The old bed hits the wall and she feels so good, “Urgh slowly!” She demands and I comply enjoying every drag every pull, every kiss…

Fuck! The way she palpitates and cry out my name I let go and fill her up, kissing her swollen lips as my cock shoots straight for her womb. This can’t be the last time I have her like this, this won’t be the last time. I push my weight up, with one hand and the other one caress her cheek. I look at her, straight in those beautiful eyes, god she’s so fucking breath taking I want her forever, I need her forever.

“Don’t leave, Y/N… Marry me!”


	3. Get Up And Try

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The series tells parts of the story of Y/N and Dean Winchester, throughout the years, switching from differents POVs. It will be post weekly and each chapter would be inspired on a song from the CD, following the order of the album, which means the story won’t be in chronoligcal order.
> 
> This part is loosely based on track 3) ‘Try’ (Lyrics), and take place on the year 2008 between the eps 16x03 (finale) ‘No Rest For The Wicked’ and 01x04 ‘Lazarus Rising’

_2008_

You wake, startled by some sort of noise, you force your eyes open, is the middle of the night, the moonlight that trickles through the blinds lighten the room. Your ears sharpen, there’s a crying baby…

“What? Where? Oh yeah, I’m coming little one…”

You speak your head to the side so your voice is projected and heard from the room at the end of the hall, though it makes no difference, babies don’t understand, but this baby, this baby is different, is so smart.

You look to your side; the bed is empty next to you, though warm to the touch confirming that it was occupied until a few minutes ago.

Your toes touch the ground as your legs hang from the side after you pull the sheet and blanket off your body completely. The cold hits you; the air is turning colder as the days go by even though is not even autumn, goosebumps sprout on your naked legs as you pat down the narrow corridor towards the nursery… Nursery?

One hand drags on the ugly brown striped wallpaper; you have no idea who could have such a horrible taste, the thing was already there since before you moved in and you hadn’t had a chance to change it.

That’s the reason why you never changed it, right? Suddenly you can’t remember.

Rubbing your left eye with numb fingers you stand under the rotten wood door frame, scan the room until you see them.

Dean sat on the small worn arm chair that he got on that secondhand store and you upholstered from scratch with that soft fluffy fabric; the emerald tone matches Dean’s eyes when hit by the morning sunshine, that’s why you chose it. Of that you’re sure.

Or you think you are… the thing looks disgusting, the foam padding out on display, the original leather material torn and stained.

You hear Dean humming, is that melody again, you know the song or you think you do, god you’re so forgetful lately!

The tiny little bundle cradled in his arms has ceased crying, his low honeyed voice soothing little baby; baby Rose, back to sleep. It’s the perfect picture, Dean and your child, the fruit of your love, cuddling together in the dim lightened room.

There’s something strange… You can’t remember why you have decided on the name Rose; you can’t recall what she looks like, what color is her hair is or her eyes, or how do you know is a girl, there’s nothing pink in the room, and everything looks grey under the moonlight.

Something’s really odd.

Dean’s head snaps up, aware of your presence his eyes lock with yours and he brings his index finger up his plump lips shushing you.

You nod.

His hand keeps moving up until his wrist is now leveled with his mouth, the mischievous grin he gives you, although mostly covered by his own arm, is unsettling and it gives you the chills, your stomach crumples and you feel that twist in your guts, the same one you felt ages ago when your brain suddenly reminded you that you had to do a model for school the next day.

You observe unable to move a muscle how sharp teeth bite down in his own skin, blood drips down his arm and sleeve, drenching his clothes and staining Rose’s baby blanket which she’s currently wrapped on. “Dean!” you want to scream, run to him and stop him, to get your child away from him, but you know already, this is not how it ends.

How do you know that it always ends the same way?

Dean, albeit now you’re somewhat conscious that the thing seating on the filthy armchair is not your Dean, opens Rose’s little mouth; you can hear her cry and then he puts his gushing wound in her mouth, feeding her his blood.

“NO! Dean! Stop!!” Your mouth moves but there’s no sound, your voice is only in your head. You start to cry, matching the baby’s sobs.

You look him in the eyes and notice the emerald globes, the ones you love so much, are no longer emerald. The room is well lit and you can see his eyes are now white.

“Lilith…” You breathe out in shock, yet you knew, you knew it was her. You detach yourself from the binding and start to run, the floor underneath your feet moves but you don’t.

The room becomes larger as you keep running, but you never reach them. You can’t hear Rose crying anymore. The room has gone quiet and then everything disappears, it's always the same. You can’t stop it!

“Oh, relax!” A girl’s voice tells you. “You never had them in the first place!” There’s a small blond girl standing in front of you and she laughs, the room dissipates, there’s nothing around you, literally emptiness surrounds you.

The girl takes 2, 3 little steps towards you, the tapping of her shiny white shoes against nothing scares you, you try to back away but an invisible wall behind you won’t allow doing it.

The girl gives you a gap toothy grin and her eyes turn white just like Dean’s a few moment ago. “You don’t have anything… You’re all alone” She sings as her little hand presses your stomach. It burns, the pain spreading from her touch is unbearable and you remember this is all a dream, just a nightmare that plays in your mind over and over each time you pass out.

Out of breath, you sit up. You’re awake now, sweating, your hands go to your flat belly and your head recalls everything that happened in the last 4 months or so.

The afternoon orange sun illuminates the motel room, on the nightstand the big red numbers let you know that you slept during the day again.

Ripping the sweat damp sheets off you get up and go to the bathroom, in the short way you feel the pain in your gut, where Lilith’s hand pushed you that night weeks ago. It hurts as if it just happened a moment ago, feels like someone stabs you and then twists the knife; you bend over and hold yourself to the wall.

Maybe you should go to a doctor like Bobby told you before you left his house.

After a short hot shower you sit at the edge of the bed, why your mind ever came up with the name Rose and the fact that it was a she, you’ll never know, you don’t even wanna know. Sometimes it’s better to remain oblivious, just like Dean was before the hell hounds torn him apart right in front of your eyes.

It’s been a while since you had that dream, you always make sure to get completely wasted before you pass out, so you can have dreamless sleeps. And even if you could have a different kind of dream you don’t deserve it.

You’re ruined and all you wanna cry till you die. You feel sober and there’s a moment of clarity… Dean, then the baby, you’ve lost everything, you burnt, but that doesn’t mean you died. You are still alive.

You should get up and do what you do best; help people, strangers, because it’s obvious that you can’t save your love ones. You allow yourself shed a few more tears thinking about him and about what could have been if you could have actually helped him like you promised.

You have to get up from this bed now, go to Bobby’s, get back in touch with Sam… Yes, you have to get up now. You have to get up and try.


	4. You Are Not Broken

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This part is inspired on track #4) ‘Just Give Me A Reason’ (Lyrics). Personaly I love this song, I’ve read a couple of fics based on this song already so I decided to make it a little different, I like to think I accomplished that. 
> 
> This particular part of the story takes place on the year 2015 some point in the middle of Season 10.

4) You Are Not Broken

2015

You hear a click in the shifting air and look up to see Dean’s form taking over the doorway. A smile crawls up your face; he has on only a pair of underwear and a tee, ready to come to bed. You bite your lip and close the book you’ve been reading leaving it on the night stand by your side of the bed.

“Hi, babe. Were you watching me?” You ask although you already know the answer.

Dean gives you a tight smile and steps into the room closing the door behind him, he stops by the foot of the bed, the red keloid on his right forearm seems to beat and glow and you let out a long breath.

“Are you alright?” You pull your legs up to your chest, the thin sheet layers between your own skin.

He nods and climbs up, the mattress barely sinks under his weight, he moves stealthily until he’s kneeling right in front of you, the expression on his face unreadable.

“Dean…What-”

A raspy finger on your lips shuts you up. “Shh…” You can’t tell if this is sexy or creepy so you decide to let it flow and see what’s going on.

“Y/N,” Dean begins and immediately stops to clear his throat. “Right from the start, you-you were a thief…”

“What?” You interrupt and he takes your lips between his index finger and thumb lifting his eyebrow at you.

“Yes, you were a thief, you stole my heart. I never admitted but you did, from the beginning and I was your willing victim… I know we were young and stupid and then we didn’t see each other for a while but… You had me bewitched.” He lets out a chuckle that makes you shiver and provokes goosebumps all over your exposed skin. 

Your eyes still locked and he speaks again. “It took me a while to let down my walls but once I did, I let you see the parts of me that weren’t all that pretty… Not pretty at all.” He sighs and looks away from you.

Taking his arms in your hands you try to take his hand from your mouth and succeed. “Dean!” Your tone is urgent; you want to know what’s going on.

“Please, just let me…”

“Okay.” You roll your eyes and let him continue.

“The thing is that you fixed them, with every touch you fixed me!” You see the way his eyes welled up and you can’t help your lower lip to quiver.

“But now, lately you’ve been talking in your sleep.” His strong hands grip your forearms tightly almost painfully.

“Dean,” You speak through gritted teeth. “Ouch. Dean…”

“There’s things, things you never say to me” He ignores you.

“You’re starting to hurt me!” You whine trying to twist your arm away from his grasp.

He sighs and his head falls down to his chest before he speaks, this time in whispers. “I know… Tell me that you’ve had enough, Y/N. Tell me that you had enough of our love.”

“Enough of our love? Dean, no! What are you talking about?” You argue, pushing him away and kneeling on the bed in front of him.

“Please, baby. Just give me a reason, just-just a little bit’s enough, and I give you an out, you don’t deserve this… I-I don’t deserve you!”

“Dean, Is this about the nightmare you woke me up from last night?” You duck your head down searching for his, and he nods.

You chuckle, humorlessly and in disbelief. “Are you really trying to push me away for a stupid nightmare?” He opens his mouth to say something but you shut him with a hand up. “Just a second here, please! If you think we’re broken because of this!” You grab his right arm, your palm over the hot mark. “We are not. We’re just bent, and we can…” You groan “We can learn, Dean. We always learn to love again.”

It’s in the stars

It’s been written in the scars on our hearts

We’re not broken just bent

And we can learn to love again

“Dean, I’m sorry but I don’t understand! Where all of this is coming from?” You drop on your back, and throw your arms over you face in frustration. “I-I thought that we were fine.”

“Oh, Y/N. We used to be fine, we used had everything…” He says in a patronizing tone as he sits on the far edge of the bed.

“Okay, no!” You sit up. “Your head is running wild again. My dear, we still have everythin’. And I hate to say it to you like this, but it’s all in your mind.”

“Yeah, but this is happenin’.” You hear him mumble his head facing the other side.

“Dean, I know I don’t always have sweet dreams, but you’ve been havin’ real bad ones!”

“You’re scared of me, Y/N” He turns around and his eyes meet yours again.

“What? NO!!” Your voice raises. “Your actions scare me a little bit lately, but I’m not scared of you, never!”

“You used to lie so close to me, baby. Now, there’s nothing more than empty sheets between us.”

Your eyes welled up when you see a tear rolling down his scruffy cheek. His beautiful green eyes are bloodshot; he’s been having close to zero sleep and been agonizing ever since he got that thing in his forearm.

Just give me a reason

Just a little bit’s enough

Just a second we’re not broken just bent

And we can learn to love again

“Dean, I love you! Not since the day I met you…” He snorts a laugh and your heart swells. “But one day I started doing it and I never stopped, I will never stop!” You crawl your way off the bed and kneel on the floor in front of him.

“You’re still written in the scars on my heart, this.” You slowly place you had on his forearm and tighten your hold when he winces and tries to move away.

“This is nothing in comparison of everything we’ve been through together. We survived a lot… And we will survive this. Together! And I want you to listen to me now Dean Winchester; you’re not broken, just… bent.”

And we can learn to love again.

You get closer to him and cup his face with your palms, wiping a tear with your thumb at the same time he does the same for you.

“And if you still think you are, then I’ll fix you… I’ll fix it for us. We may be collecting dust, but our love’s enough. I’m not going anywhere.” You speak in a shush voice.

“Stop holding it in, Dean. I’m here with you.” The small lamp on the nightstand shines on your left hxand making the small silver ring on your left hand sparkle and you smile. “You’re not pushing me away. Nothing is as bad as it seems, we know that first hand.”

He chuckles and tangle his hands through your hair, pulling your face closer to him. “I love you.”

“I love you.” You whisper back.

“Promise me we’ll come clean about every little thing.”

“I promise.”

Just give me a reason

Just a little bit’s enough

Just a second we’re not broken just bent

And we can learn to love again

It’s in the stars

It’s been written in the scars on our hearts

That we’re not broken just bent

And we can learn to love again

Oh, we can learn to love again

Oh, we can learn to love again

Oh, oh, that we’re not broken just bent

And we can learn to love again


	5. True Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Inspired on track #5) ‘True Love’. (Lyrics) My favorite song of the album!
> 
> This particular part of the story takes place on the year 2016 season 12 some point before ep 3 ‘The Foundry’ but after the events of ep 2 ‘Mamma Mia’ where everything was fine for a few days.

**5) True Love**

2016

_Internal thoughts in italics_

_Look at him! The one night off you get in over six months and he falls asleep!_

You get it, he’s tired, you’re tired but you also want to be with him, you want to enjoy a quiet night with your husband, the way you haven’t done it in a long time.

_And why do you want him to wake up, Y/N? The second he opens his mouth you wanna slap him in the face. Yeah, but at the same time I wanna hug him with my fucking hands around his neck! Such an asshole. He chose the movie and the snacks and he falls asleep?_

_But you love him._

_Yes, I love him. My life would suck without him._

You sit up on the bed and stare at him, then your eyes go to the tv, _stupid Clint Eastwood, stupid western!_

_Can’t he just like for once, wrap his little brain around my feelings? A little romance would be fine…_

_I should wake him up!_

Your lay your hand on his chest, ready to shake him up, but a voice inside your head stops you.

You’re gonna wake him up, you gonna make out for 2 minutes and then fuck, and if it’s anything like the last time, it won’t be that satisfying for you. You’d be unable to concentrate when he’d rub you the wrong way, and say things that will just annoy you.

You sigh and look at his face, _how did we ever come to be? I should just go._

_Where? He’s the only love I ever known, he’s home, he’s my everything, he’s the love of my life._

_God I fucking hate him!_

_Why am I such a bitch sometimes? I need to stop complaining and do something._

Against your own mind your move to lay on top of him, Dean’s eyes flutter open almost immediately , blinking a few time adjusting to the sight of you in front of the tv.

“Fuck, I fell asleep. So sorry honey. I bet this isn’t the anniversary celebration you expected.”

His fingers brush a lock of hair behind your ear. “It’s alright.” You smile at him.

“I don’t need a fancy dinner and some five star hotel room, I got you.”

“You are the love of my life, you know that right?” Dean crawls up with his elbows and sit against the headboard, pulling you up with him. His hands cup your face before you can respond connecting your lips in a sweet tender kiss.

“I know.” You whisper against his mouth. “And you are an asshole”

He pulls back, inspecting your face, dumbfounded.

“What?”

“Yes, it’s fine though. ‘Cause I’m a bitch and we cancel each other out.”

He snorts a laugh and shakes his head. “I love you so much!”

“I love you. Now come!” You jump off of him and stand next to the bed, extending your hand waiting for him to take it.

“Where?”

“We still have a couple of hours before they come back, we are gonna have a nice bubble bath together.”


	6. Where's Sam?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The events of the current chapter take place on the year 2016 inbetween the eps 11x23 ‘Alpha and Omega’ and 12x01 ‘Keep Calm And Carry On’ 
> 
> Unbeta’d because I really don’t wanna wait, but I’m gonna thank @babypieandwhiskey for the reading over. Btw this is my first time re-writing so I hope you like it.
> 
> This part is loosely based on track #6) ‘How Come You’re Not Here’ (Lyrics) This wasn’t my original idea for the song but felt like I needed to include a bit more of season 12.

2016

Dean’s POV

Dean opens the bunker’s door allowing Mary to go in first, slamming the big heavy metal gate close after himself.

“You live here?” Mary asks, amazed by the enormity of the place, ever though she’s just seen only the foyer, a.k.a. war room.

“Yeah,” Dean answers knocking a fist against the iron rail looking around, “when we’re not on the road.” He turns and start walking down the stairs. “It’s an old Men of Letter’s Bunker,” he adds with the slightest shrug.

“Men of Letters?” Mary’s taken aback for a second, “but they’re a myth. An old hunter’s story.” She joins her son, stomping her new boots against the ancient iron steps.

“Not so much” Dean rounds that final curve to step into the warroom. “That does looks good.” He admits looking a little over his shoulder.

“Thanks,” Mary takes the edges of her green gabardine jacket and looks down on herself, “Better than walking around on that night gown.” She admits joining her son at the end of the stairs, almost bumping into him, for some reason Dean stopped walking all the sudden.

Shocked she looks at the bloody marks in the concrete floor, obvious signs of a struggle. “That’s blood…” She announces.

“Yeah.” Dean’s hand goes to his back, to take the gun hidden on his jeans waistband, loading it immediately, his body goes into fully hunter’s mode as loud click fills the room. “Sammy? Dean starts walking further in, “Cas? “Y/N!?” He shouts.

Dean takes the couple of steps to the library, his brow frowns even more when he discovers the angel banishing symbol drawn with blood in one of the columns, cursing internally he goes to the map table, Mary watches him as his hand moves under the table. Dean’s fingers pop open the clasp of the gun case and take a small revolver, rapidly checking to see if it’s loaded Dean gives it to his mother.

“Take this.” He says sternly. “Stay here!” He orders and walks away.

“Dean!” Mary whispers shout trying to argue.

But Dean’s no longer listening to her, “Sammy? Y/N?” He shouts again disappearing in the depth of the bunker.

Mary knows better than to stand idly by and do nothing, perhaps she’s been dead for the last 33 years but she’s still a hunter. Following the path of his eldest son did she climbs up the 3 steps towards the library, gun at the ready. In no time she finds herself marvelous by the amount of books and weapons adorning the place. The loud bang of the metal door snaps her out of her trance but doesn’t startle her, like the good hunter she is.

Mary hides behind a bookcase, awaiting for whoever may enter, the footsteps become louder getting closer and closer to her by the second, her heart rate raises.

Then she sees a man, in a worn out and dirty brown trench coat a white button up shirt underneath, she observes his stance, he’s somewhat relax maybe he’s another hunter but her sons lives are at the line, she won’t take a chance.

Stepping from her hiding place she points the gun at the man’s face “Hands in the air. Get on your knees!” She demands, the intruder is not afraid of her or her gun, he keeps walking towards her and she is ready to shoot.

“Who are you?” He strongly asks, with a deep voice. “Where are Sam and Y/N?” He presses.

———————————————————————

4 hours earlier Reader’s POV 

“You guys go ahead,” You shout-whisper as Sam and Cas climb off the impala, It’s been a really long and exhausting day for all of you.

Your husband deciding to sacrifice himself, going kamikaze against God’s sister for the good of humanity…

Fuck!

You knew exactly what you were getting into, the Winchesters were famous for dying , but you never expected Dean to die again after, well after the last time.

Sam gives you a knowing smile before softly closing the driver’ side door, Cas squeezes your shoulder through the open window.

“We’ll be inside, Y/N.” Thee assures you, you know Dean asked him to take care of you and he feels guilty and responsible for a lot that happened in the last month, but you don’t resent him for any of it.

“I know Cas.” You nod and shift positions on the back seat to unbuckle the little safe belt of the baby carseat.

You sigh and adjust your clothes, no need to cover yourself now that you two are alone, the hard suction still makes you wince a little, you look down and smile nonetheless, she’s all you have left from him now, tired you lean your head on the backrest for a second and close your eyes.

You must have drifted off and fall asleep from the accumulated exhaustion because your eyes flutter open to the unmistakable sound of a gunshot, almost jumping off the bench seat but you’re able to stop yourself and move carefully instead. You cover the small bundle with a blanket holding your breath at the thought of leaving her alone and make your way towards the bunker, you can’t help to look over your shoulder every other step, unsure of what the hell was going on and what could happen.

You tiptoe your way into the library where you see Sam, unconscious being dragged by this petite blonde woman, the amount of blood his body is trailing behind makes you gasp, you take the gun from the back of your jeans and prepare yourself to jump on her when you heard a deeper voice, another woman walks in, this one uglier and brawnier you know you won’t be able to take down both of them so you let them work, chewing on your own lips watching how they handle Sam’s inert body. Impotent and powerless you wait till they left the bunker with Sam before you get out from your hiding spot in search from Cas, finding only an angel banishing symbol on the wall.

Desperation takes over you, what are you supposed to do? With your phone in hand you called Crowley, it goes straight to voicemail and you swear you’ll kill him the next time you see him.

You don’t know who else to call or who go for help, so you opt for go back to the sleeping baby on the back of the impala and get inside you home, settling in the safest room, the dungeon, at least for the night in the morning you’ll know what to do.

You wake up from a restless sleep, the pulling of your muscles reminding you of last nights events, your phone says it’s 6 am and of course there’s no signal inside the hidden room. You look down at you baby curled up in your arms, sleeping peacefully, oblivious of whatever is happening around her, tears well up in your eyes but you push them away, you’re all she’s got, you have to be strong!

The loud bang of the front door awakes her, you hurry, filling her little mouth with your breast before she can cry and give away your hiding place. She falls asleep again, this time when the door slams closed for a second time she doesn’t wake up, too satisfied by her full belly and the warmth of your embrace.

You lick your lips and take a deep breath, they’re here again, maybe looking for you, you can’t just hide for ever, you have to do something.

Walking backwards towards the fake shelves after gathering enough courage to leave your daughter alone hoping to Chuck that nothing happens to you so you won’t leave her alone there you leave the dungeon with your gun ready.

——————————————————————–

Dean POV

“I don’t know!” Cas admits, defeat oozing from him , “we came back here. There was a woman waiting for us. She blasted me away. I don’t know what happened to Sam or Y/N, she and Luna stayed behind in the car. Y/N was sad I could feel it, she used the baby as an excuse to be alone.”

Dean’s hands fisted at the sides of his body and Mary’s eyes widen at the mention of a baby, apparently Dean failed to mention that little piece of information when he updated her with everything that happened in the last 33 years. “I don’t understand!” Mary interrupts, this is too much in too little time, she decides to go for the more urgent matter “What happened?” She asks.

“Look the bunker’s empty,” Dean ignores her, “so they obviously left.” Mary observes her son’s demeanor, he is acting like an alpha male, like a true leader. “You said woman? Not an angel, not a demon, not… she was human?” Dean’s arms open to his sides, like it’s impossible for a woman to do all that.

“She was human” Castiel admits frustrated.

“When this all go down?” Dean walks away from them, towards one of the tables, he sits and pulls the laptop to him, opening and typing frantically.

“2:12 am” Cas informs and get closer.

Mary’s eyes goes from the little screen to her son and the to the angel, “is that a computer?” She can’t believe that is possible, a computer so tiny.

“Yes.” Castiel answers, Dean too busy typing away. “ I don’t trust them.”

—————————————————————————-

Reader POV

You won’t believe your eyes, Dean sat at a library table, he’s alive and talking to Cas, his broad back on you looking at the opposite direction, Cas and a woman talking to him.

“Is that a computer?” The blonde asks. What kind of weirdo doesn’t know what a computer is…

“Dean?” You manage to speak, your voice sounds broken yet your gun still pointing up to his head.

Dean stands up and turns around, kicking the chair away.

“Y/N.” He whispers.

All eyes on you know, you look at Cas, who seems relief to find you safe and sound, the woman looks at you and smiles to herself nodding like she approves you somehow.

What the fuck?

The barrel of the gun rises and falls with your deep breaths and you fight the sobs. “You’re alive…Is- is this really you?”

“Yes, Y/N.” Cas answers first, “what happ-” he starts to asks you but you cut him off with a hand up the angel’s direction you walk to your husband, looking at the woman you find some familiarities in her features.

“Babe,” Dean voice snaps you out of her. “Are you hurt? Where’s Luna?”

“She’s safe.” You tell him taking a few last steps until you’re close enough to feel his breaths fanning the lose strands of hair from your face, lowering your gun one of your hands instinctively goes to the middle of his chest, your lower lip quivers when you feel his heartbeat under your palm. “You’re alive” you choke out and Dean’s hand moves to cover yours.

He pulls you to him and your lips collide into a kiss, you hug him, feeling all of him, he is truly there, with you and he’s not a fucking demon, or a ghost or anything else, he’s your Dean. You finally move away from him and look at his straight in his green eyes, suddenly very ounce of love you feel for him turns into hate and you push him back, slapping his chest.

“You stupid ass!!” you yell, Cas rolls his eyes and turns around walking away, taking the blond woman’s arm making her go with him, admiring yours and Dean’s interaction from far away.

“Babe!” Dean tries to reason with you in vain.

You ignore him. “Cas!” you call down to the angel, “Luna is in the dungeon, please go get her.” Your voice goes back to its normal self before you look back at Dean again.

“You’re fucking alive? Since when? Did you even die?” You speak through gritted teeth and your eyes shoot daggers.

“No, actually, I never-”

“I can’t believe you right now, Dean Winchester!” You scream again pulling your own hair. “Did it ever occur you to come back home, like the moment you found out you weren’t gonna die?” You fume.

“Look I-I was, but-”

“But what?” You interrupt him again. “You were too caught up hanging out with blonde right there, huh?”

“What? No!”

“Then what? You think is super smart to leave me and your daughter alone?”

“You weren’t alone when I left you Y/N!” Dean voice raises and he start to defend himself. “I left you with Sam and Cas! I didn’t know this was gonna happen!” His long arms spread wide.

“Oh my god, Dean! You have a fucking excuse for everything, don’t you?” you push at his chest with your flat hand.

“Y/N, would you just shut up and let me explain?”

“Explained what? How you chose to go with her instead that coming back with your family? I mean, she’s cute and all but I bet she stores nuts like a squirrel”

“Shut up!” Dean screams right in your face.” And you do shut up, he never talked to you in that tone, before, ever.

“Dean!” Cas and the blonde woman walk back into the room, she scold at your husband with your child in arms bouncing a little since the baby just got upset because of the screaming.

“Don’t you talk about my mom like that ever again!”

Your first instinct is tu run to your daughter and take the baby away from her but Dean’s words start to resound in your brain. “Your-your mom? What? How?”

You look back to who supposedly is your mother-in-law, Mary Winchester, that you just called a whore by the way and she gives you a smile and then she turns to your 4 month-old baby who’s pulling a lock of her hair, now you can see the resemblance.

You take a deep breath feeling your body grow weak. “Is she… Really?” A hand goes to your mouth your eyes go from Dean to Mary. “Oh my god!” You hand goes to you chest and you feel like you may faint, but you don’t.

Luna starts crying louder and you walk to them slowly, your eyes focus on Mary’s and then in your daughter’s shushing her as you take her, carefully. You press Luna over your chest, you found out not too long ago that feeling her heartbeats against yours calms you down, it works for both of you actually.

You close your eyes at the same time as Luna does and you hug her tight, ignoring the people around you for a couple of seconds. You feel Dean’s warm hand on your back and then his arms snake around you, swirling you in order that Luna is cuddle in between your bodies.

When Dean pulls away he takes your baby holding her in his strong arms and kisses your forehead. “Mom, I want you to meet Y/N.” He smiles down at you and then to Mary.

“I’m so sorry about what I said, I didn’t-I’d couldn’t have known.” You stutter.

“I understand,” Mary opens her arms to you, “So nice to meet you Y/N.” She says into your ear. “Thank you for taking care of my boys for so long.” You held her tight her words sinking in your stomach when the realization hit you.

“Cas?” You look over Mary’s shoulder. “Where’s Sam?”


	7. I Know You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This part is loosely based on track #7) ‘Slut Like You’ 
> 
> The events of the current chapter take place on the year 2001, before the desappearance of John Winchester and approximately about the time Sam went to Stanford. 
> 
> This is the one that started all chronologically, the first one!

8) I Know You  
2001

“Shot of whiskey and a beer.” You grin to the tender.

He eyes you suspiciously “Are you old enough to drink?” His fat arm wiggles as he wipes the wooden top of the bar with a dirty ass rag.

“I’m old enough to kick your butt!” You sass after a little scoff and pull you fake ID out of your back pocket.

Scratching his double chin he takes a bottle from the self by the mirrored back wall and fills a thimble then he moves way and grab a beer out of the fridge, uncapping it on his way back with a very rusty bottle opener.

“Thank you!” You singsong taking the shot glass ready to down it.

The rim graces your lower lip when a deep husky voice speaks near your ear “It’s incredible how you can kill half a dozen blood thirsty vampires but you can’t get a drink when you’re under 21.”

Your head whips to the side, your hair flipping with quick motion. “Excuse me?”

You look at him, hazel-green eyes boring into yours, plump lips pursed up, he’s leaning on against the counter top one arm on it, his fingers dangerously close to your beer the other on the backrest of you stool, he has a weird familiar look.

“I’ve seeing you around… This is not the first time we end up in the same town together.” He licks his lips and white teeth linger on his lower one. “I know you.”

“I never seen you before in my life. Sorry!” You roll your eyes and throw the shot back. Kicking the feet rest of your seat while the liquor burns down your throat.

“Urgh. You still here?” Yes, he’s hot, but you’re so done with pretty stupid boys flirting their ways onto your pants and then letting you down in every way possible.

“Why would I leave? Is not like everyday I get to chat with a sexy fellow hunter.” He steals your beer and takes a swing.

“First, that’s mine!” You snatch it back, making him spill some over his chin and leather jacket. “If you want one, buy it! Second, what the fuck? All this talks about hunting and vampires… who do you think I am, Buffy?”

Yes, this guy might know what he’s talking about, but you’re not gonna just give it away because he hints it.

“Well…” He signals the bartender for a second round. “I can tell you right now, you’re a lot hotter than Buffy… Your name’s Y/N.”

You scorn at him and chug down your beer.

“I mean it, and you fight a lot better too.” He adds talking in your ear for the second time in less that five minutes.

“Are you stalking me?” You take the shot the chunky arm just placed between the both of you and down it.

“Like I said, I know you and been seeing you around a lot lately… You’re quite good.” He takes his own whiskey.

You watch his adam’s apple bob and his face remained perfectly still except for his lips, they part a bit letting some air enter to sooth the burning sensation.

“I’m guessing you’re celebrating tonight?” Cocking an eyebrow he lifts two finger up in the air.

“You could say that… I mean, you already know.” you drink the rest of your beer in one draft.

“What about you… Who are you? And where do you know me from?” You taunt widening your eyes.

“Umm, lets just say… when we first met you were running around a motel bed in just your underwear.”

“So, last week?”

He chuckles. “You’re Y/F/N’s daughter. He and my dad worked a few cases together, a long way back.”

You don’t answer.

“My dad’s John Winchester.”

“Aahh…” Realization hits you. “And you are… Sam, right?”

“Dean.” He corrects

“Whatever. So, you were stalking me?”

He just shrugs.

————————————————————————————————————————————

One hour, eight shots and four beers, each, after you find yourself pressed against the cracked tiled wall of the small restroom stall Dean’s hands wandering down your body while his mouth assaults your neck and chest.

“Don’t fucking mark me!” You order feeling his lips suctioning on a single spot for more than a few seconds.

“Shhh” Dean shushed you and his hand slips past your pants and underwear. “Fuck!” He curses when his fingers slip passed your lips and he finds you dripping wet.

You take his face with one hand, pressing his cheeks, pursing his lips. “Don’t shhh m-”

His lips connect with yours, successfully making you shut up. Your tongues fight for dominance going in and out of your mouths, the swirling sounds filling the small cubicle.

You moan and push yourself off the wall.

With your hands on his chest you force him back until he falls on the toilet and you immediately drop to your knees in front of him.

“Hey, I thought I was gonna” The words slur out of his mouth.

“You’re not in charge here!” Your hands fist on both sides of his shirt and you pull in different directions, buttons flying all around.

“Really?” You ask rolling your eyes as you see a black cotton undershirt when you’ve been expecting to find his naked chest. 

He laughs and pulls you in by the back of your neck for another bruising kiss.

“Hey!” You snap at him as soon as you finds the strength to break the kiss. “Did I just say? Do I need to restrain you?”

“You don’t wanna do that!” His hand travels behind your back and tugs your hair back, exposing your throat to him.

“Or I won’t be able to pull your hair.”

“Fuck!” You breath out and start to work on his belt and zipper.

“Oh. Yeah babe. You know what you do!” Both his hands tangle in your head, guiding your movements as you suck him into your mouth.

“Mmmfphhh” Spit and precum drip down your chin to coat the couple of inches your mouth can’t engulf as you try to tell him how good he tastes.

“Fuck! What a perfect little mouth… God. Fuuuuck!” He thrusts up down holding you in place making you swallow him completely, the swollen head hits your uvula but you help him go further until your nose is buried in the sweaty curls of his mount.

He hold you the for a few seconds before letting go of your head and you retreat, opening your mouth, releasing his big cock. 

You feel the tears fall from the corner of your eyes and your wipe them with the back of your hand before doing the same with your chin and the snot dribbling under your nose.

“That was hot!” He says breathless his thumb playing with your lower lip.

You nod standing up and popping the buttons of your pants open. Dean lifts your shirt and licks your stomach.

“Fuck! Don’t do that!” You laugh unwittingly “It fucking tickles.”

You kick your jeans and underwear off next to your boots and take a condom from your back pocket before discarding your clothes.

“Here. Put this on.” You see him ripping the package with his teeth.

After rolled it over this succulent length you straddle his lap. “You ready?”

“Yeah… Ride me baby.” Dean hisses and suck his breath when you lower yourself, slowly. Stretching yourself open inch by inch.

“Oh. Shit.” You grab down his shoulders when your body starts quaking.

“You feel so good. So fucking tight!” Growling he helps you remove your shirt off your body.

“Take this off!” You slide his broken flannel off his shoulder and then he pulls his t-shirt over his head.

You moan feeling his firm chest on yours. He take you boobs out of your bra and sucks one of your nipples into his hot mouth. Tongue flicking and teeth tugging as you start to move, back and forward.

“Ahh. Ahhh. Yes. Fuck.” Strong fingers dig on your shoulders when he makes you grind down.

Your socked feet flat against the wall behind the toilet leverage your movements. And you speed up feeling your orgasm close.

“God you’re so fucking wet!” Dean’s head tilts back and he start plunging up, meeting your thrusts with his.

“Oh. Yeah. You like it. Fuck my pussy Dean. Fuck! Make me come.” You brace yourself draping your arms around his sweaty neck.

Your walls start to flutter around him, to contract and electricity flows through you entire body.

“I’m cuming! Cum with me Dean. Aahh fuck!”

Dean gets up from the toilet and slams you against the wall. His hipbones smack yours and and you feel yourself going over the edge again.

With a loud grunt Dean shoots his load and his movement stutter, as your hands knead the firm muscle of his ass.

Panting you look at each other in the eyes, there’s something there… For a second or two before you drop your gaze first.

“God. That was…” You start to say as he starts lowering you to the floor, but a soft ‘Uh oh’ interrupts you.

You see him looking down, and crane your neck, though you can’t see anything.

“What’s going on?” You ask, as he helps you stand.

“You- I- We may have a problem…” He gives you an awkward smile.

“What?” You demand.

You observe as he struggles taking the condom off and then he lifts his index finger up.

“Nooo!” You breathe out.

The warm and uncomfortable sensation of cum sliding off of you wakes you wince and you stare at the broken condom around his finger.

“Yep. It broke.”


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After being capture by a Djinn, Dean thought he was given a second chance in life, everything seemed great until he started seeing Y/N around, after over 5 years, why would she appear and desappear like that, was she haunting him? Has Y/N died?
> 
> Dean digs deeper only to find her trapped by the same Djinn that took him, and now he has to decide, whether to stay in an alternative reality where his family is alive and he has the posibility of a happy ending or go back to the real world, sacrifying everything he ever wanted to save Y/N and get back to his brother.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: 
> 
> This part is loosely based on track #8) ‘The Truth About Love’ 
> 
> The events of the current chapter take place on the year 2007, Season 2 episode 20 ‘What Is And What Should Never Be’ Chronologically this is Part 3
> 
> Thanks to @nadiandreu7 for the readig over and to @imnoaingeal for the beta work!!

8) You Are The Person Of My Dreams

2007

Now that he knows the truth the kiss feels empty, is not real… not one of the persons standing before him are.

“We can have a future together.” She says sweetly looking into his eyes. “Have our own family. I love you, Dean. Please.”

Carmen’s gorgeous, and she gets him, but she doesn’t exist. “I need to save her” Dean whispers to himself to get some strength.

Carmen moves away, just like his mom did a few seconds ago and now it’s Sam’s turn again.

“Why is it our job to save everyone?” He asks, eyes welling up. “Haven’t we done enough?” Sam lifts his eyebrows, clearly quoting Dean’s words.

“I’m begging you.” He looks down and takes a deep breath before slowly sticking his hand out. “Give me the knife.”

Dean looks at all of them, to Carmen, Jess and his mother, his heart breaks, knowing that he’s gonna lose her again, even though this was never real. He takes a small step back and then look back at Sam, beyond his brother is her, hanging from some ropes, agonizing.

“I’m sorry.” Dean raises the silver knife and without a second thought he pushes it down to his stomach, feeling how the blade pierced through the layer of clothes and then his own flesh and hard tissue…

“Dean!” He hears Sam scream his name over and over. “Dean, come on. Wake up!”

Sam shakes him. “Dean! Wake up! Wake up, damn it!”

Dean slowly blinks and grunts. Sam stops. “Aunt Em… There’s no place like home.” He jokes and coughs making Sam smile for a second.

“Thank god.” Sam breaths out. “I thought I lost you for a second.” Carefully he pulls the needle and tube from his brother’s throat.

“You almost did.” Dean admits in defeat. Whimpering at the pulling sensation of the probe being removed.

Sam starts to cut the rope around Dean’s wrist, missing the pair of shiny blue eyes coming from his left.

“Sam!” Dean shouts alerting his brother.

Sam turns in time going for the djinn with the lamb soaked silver blade. With super strength the creature got him to drop the knife and slammed his head against the wall and everything is spinning around.

With the little strength left in his body, Dean pulls on the ropes trying to get loose.

Sam finds himself in the same situation as he did a day ago, the Djinn gripping him by the neck while his other hand starts to flash a blue light, directing it to his forehead.

The creature grunts and his eyes become black as Dean pushes the blade to his back, twisting it and then letting the lifeless body of the Djinn fall to the ground.

With a silent look the brothers let each other know they’re alright.

Dean’s heart twists seeing her like that, her skin beyond pale, her face consumed and her body simmed. He should’ve known something was wrong from the first time he saw her in the middle of the street and then again in the restaurant.

Why would Y/N showed up like that and then disappear?

He walks up to her, feeling guilty about everything. He shuts his eyes tight as he places a hand on her cheek, trying to feel a hint of body heat, or a heartbeat, anything that shows she’s alive.

And he sees it, a tear rolls down her filthy cheek. “She’s still alive! Sam!”

He whips his head back calling for his brother’s help and then extremely carefully removes the tube from her, knowing from experience how much it hurt pulling it out.

Sam’s there in a second, cutting down the ropes, Dean catches Y/N’s limp body and lowers her down to the floor.

“I gotcha Y/N. I gotcha. Please, stay with me…” Tears stream down his face as he holds her. “I’m sorry… I should’ve looked for you sooner. I got you now.”

——————————————————————————————————————————————–

The bright light above her head dyed the inside of her eyelids red, she’s been awake for a while, the constant beeping of the machines and the hushed voices woke her up and she remained still and quiet, pretending to be unconscious listening to what was going on.

“She’s stable now. She will make it, and all thanks to you. You found her.” Y/N didn’t hear an answer but then a door was closed.

Opening just one eye she scanned the room, she was alone and slowly moved to sit up on her bed, tearing the oxygen mask from her face.

Clearly she was in a hospital, her mind goes back to that place, where her mom was alive and her dad was happy and was married and had kids and had everything she never even dared to dream… Until she saw him, Dean standing in the middle of the park, but not her Dean, the one that was father of her child. This one was different, and he was looking lost and devastated.

That’s when she started digging for information and realized it was all in her mind, nothing was real but she was trapped and she couldn’t get out.

Y/N ripps the white sheets from her body and swings her legs over the side of the tall bed, sliding down slowly. When her feet touch the cold grey tiled floor she stands, the weight is too much for her weakened legs and they give.

The door of the tiny room is yanked open. “Y/N!” Dean is by her side in the blink of an eye.

“You were there! You were there!” She wants to speak, to shout but her throat is dry and only screeches are heard from her.

“We were together. And you were there!” She squeals and Dean picks her up and lays her back in the bed.

———————————————————————————————————————————————– 

A couple of days go by until she can leave the hospital, Dean was there the whole time, apologizing over and over for not saving her faster.

“We were happy.” She finally admits standing by the door of her motel room, eyes fixed down on the floor.

A tear roll down her cheek and she brush it away, “Until I saw you. The real you and that’s when all started to waver.”

Her eyes meet his and she force herself to smile. “I love you Dean, I realized that. But we can’t have both…Hunting and a happy ending, they don’t match!”

“Y/N, I-”

“Please,” She begs for him to let her finish. “Although all we had was a one night stand, and some ugly days after it, I never stopped thinking about you. About what is and what should never be…”

Dean pulls her by her shirt towards him, cutting the next words that are about to come out of her mouth to cover it with his.

When they part the kiss he presses his forehead to hers. “Shut up.” He says and they both chuckle.

“I woke up because of you Y/N, I saw you and I knew I had to get out of there. This is real now, Y/N. We are real. And say we can fucking have both.”


	9. Burn A Candle And Turn Off The Lights

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I don't wanna give anything away (pure angst)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This part is inspired on track #9) ‘Beam Me Up’
> 
> The events of the current chapter take place on the year 2015, Season 10, at the beginning of episode 22 ‘The Prisioner’

9) Burn A Candle And Turn Off The Lights   
2015

 

Your hand roughly wiped the stranded tear away, sniffing you pushed a red lock of hair behind her ear and looked at her one last time before you covered her beautiful face with the white sheet.

The bunker was silent too silent for your own taste. You sat down on the floor next to the white cocoon, waiting for the boys to tell you everything was set.

You sighed turning the bracelet on your wrist like you always did.

 

“This is so dumb!” Charlie mocked you and you rolled your eyes. 

“I know, so are you.” You retorted a second too late and she laughed.

“All done” you sing songed

“About time nerd. I thought hunters were good with knots.”

“Shut up! You love it?” You asked her, lifting her hand up in the air and placing yours next to her.

“Yes.” She simply said and looked up at you. “I never had a friendship bracelet before… Never had a best friend.” Charlie admitted.

“I know, me neither.” You shrugged.”

 

Suddenly the air turned cold around you, goosebumps erupted on your exposed skin, the light above you flickered.

“Cha-Charlie… Is that you?” And that’s when you felt it, a hand caressing your face, it moved your hair away and placed a cold kiss on your cheek.

“Don’t let this destroy him…” Her voice echoed in your ears.

“Charlie, please… Don’t leave us, don’t leave me. I so sorry for what it happened to you… If only I’d drive faster and-and.”

“Stop blaming yourself, nerd.” You laughed and sobbed at the same time. “Be strong now…”

You finally looked up and there she was, paler that she normally was, a sweet smile on her face. “This wasn’t your fault, or Sam’s or anybody’s.”

“I feel I should tell you something meaningful.” You sighed and she shrugged. “I’m gonna miss you.”

“I know” She simply said. “But you’re not good with words. Oh, and Y/N… I don’t want to be held here.”

 

You watch as Sam and Dean placed her on top of the pyre. The flames surrounding her body, you took a reassuring breath and ripped your bracelet tossing it in the fire.

The way the small colorful beadings melted was too much for you to handle so you walked away… You needed to start looking for a way to make everything better, no matter what Dean said, Charlie’s death didn’t happen in vain.


	10. No more bubbles, no more yum

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Season 6, episode 1 Exile on Main ST. Dean discover Sam is alive and there are djinns looking for him. In order to protect his new family he takes Lisa and Ben to Bobby’s, never knowing he’d find Y/N there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part 10 of The Truth About Love series (inspired by P!nk’s album, The Truth About Love). My Entry for @mrs-squirrel-chester Album Fanfic Writting Challenge.
> 
> The series tells parts of the story of Y/N and Dean Winchester, throughout the years, switching from differents POVs. It will be post weekly and each chapter would be inspired on a song from the CD, following the order of the album, which means the story won’t be in chronological order.
> 
> This part is inspired on track #10 ‘Walk of Shame’
> 
> This is a short un betad drabble, and it will have a second part when the song comes along!

“Where were you last night?” Dean words make their way through gritted teeth, he doesn’t want to wake up Lisa and Ben, sleeping in the opposite room of that narrow corridor.

I was strange enough for him that his little brother; the same he saw jumping to the pit, carrying Lucifer inside almost a year ago, back alive and now it was the second night he saw him leaving Bobby’s house late at the night.

Sam looks down at him clicking the door closed behind him. “I went looking for Y/N.” He shrugs the expression in his face unreadable.

Dean’s demeanor changes as he hears the name. “Y/N?”

“Yeah, the Y/N you abandoned the second after I disappeared.” Sam wipes a hand down his chin, again. Dean is at lost with him.

He used to be able to read Sam like a book, but now, his brothers gives nothing away. The book still there, but the pages are blank.

“I- I didn’t abandoned her, she-” He is interrupted by a shuffling noise inside Sam’s room. “Is she- Did she?” Unable to form a single sentence he points towards the door.

Sam nods.

And the moment Dean’s about to say something else the old walnut door opens and Y/N’s figures appears. Her beautiful hair, muzzled, makeup smeared, lips swollen and she’s only wearing one of Sam’s too big for her body flannel.

“Dean!” She freezes in place.

And that’s when Dean notices the hickey on Sam’s neck, the smooches of eyeliner showing through the cleavage of his V neck.

The three of them remain silence, the situation it’s obvious. Dean knows he has no right to complain or even say a word to the woman he left, but he can’t help the wrath that travels up his blood stream.

The antipodal door is janked open, three set of eyes are set in the tall brunette standing under the door frame, wearing a matching outfit the the other woman in the corridor.

“Guys, what- Y/N!”


	11. Lipstick and Cherry Wine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Season 10 Episode 2: 'Reichenbach' Dean's a demon, a Knight of Hell. Y/N finds him in a sleezy bar, but she's had enough of this life... Or that's what she says to Dean.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part 11 of The Truth About Love series (inspired by P!nk’s album, The Truth About Love). My Entry for @mrs-squirrel-chester Album Fanfic Writting Challenge.
> 
> The series tells parts of the story of Y/N and Dean Winchester, throughout the years, switching from differents POVs. It will be post weekly and each chapter would be inspired on a song from the CD, following the order of the album, which means the story won’t be in chronological order.
> 
> This part is inspired on track #11 ‘Here Comes The Weekend’

I knew it was her as soon as her hands pushed the big doors open. I could sense her, smell her. Fuck her scent is intoxicating, I almost completely forgot about it. 

She looks like shit, apparently she fixed up a bit, but lipstick and leather tights can only do so much. Although, she looks a hundred times hotter than any other woman in here. 

I follow her with my eyes until she hops up into a barstool. My blood boils when I see the bartender flirt with her the moment he opens his stupid mouth. 

Man, let the woman breath! 

I see her nod and smile at him and I just wanna go there and rip the guy’s throat out, but I can’t, she’s here to get me, Sam will walk through those doors any minute now… 

He never does. 

It’s been an hour and Y/N’s sitting there, getting drunk. And now that I think about it, she hasn’t turned around once to see me. Maybe she doesn’t know I’m here. But that’s not possible, Crowley said Sam tracked the call and he’s coming here.

“Hey!” The blonde waitress smirks as I call her. “I want you to get that girl by the bar...” Her smiles falls when I name Y/N, like I could care less. “A glass of cherry wine.”

“We don’t have that.” She crosses her arms over her chest. 

“Idunno then, pink champagne, whatever. Just get her the girliest, pinkest drink you have.” She quirks an eyebrow at me. “Just do it.” I command her and lean back on my seat.

Y/N gives... Anne Marie a weird look, she has the exact reaction I predicted. They whisper at each other's ears before the both of them turn and Anne Marie points Y/N in my direction. 

Maybe she really didn’t know I was here. 

She hops off her seat, high heels resounding on the dirty floor, her hand grips tighter around the glass filled with pink liquid. And in the blink of an eye she’s standing in front of me, eyebrow cocked up, eyes boring in mine, lips purse. 

That red lipstick does suit her. 

“You look awful!” Upper lip goes up and the top of her nose crinkles in disgust. 

“So do you, Sweetheart. Here to hunt me down?”

“I had no idea you were here. And I don’t give a fuck.” She slams the glass on the table top, splashing my shirt with pink shit and turns to leave. 

What the fuck just happened? 

“Y/N!” I call her but she just keeps walking and in a moment she’s out the door. I run after her.

The sun’s still up, high in the sky, blinding me the second I step outside. “Y/N!” I shout without knowing which direction she took, and my eyes start to slowly adjust to the bright daylight. I see her, standing by a ramshackled red corolla, searching for the keys in her jacket. 

“Y/N!”

“What?” She looks at me over the rusty roof. 

“Why are you here?”

“I just wanted a drink. I had no fucking clue you- Sam’s coming to get you, if you wanna know.” Her stern expression changes a little when she finds her keys and then goes back to bitch face. 

Fuck she’s so hot.

“What about you?”

“What about me? What about you? Are you having fun being a demon. I bet you are!” She rolls her eyes and presses her arm on the roof of the car. 

I don't’ know what’s going on here. I still think Sam’s gonna jump on me any second. I keep an eye on the surroundings suspiciously. 

“He’s not here. I ditched him so I-” She sighs “I don’t eve know what I’m doing here…” She whispers that last part but I can hear her.

“Look,” she licks her lips and stares me in the eyes again. “I guess I just needed to see you one last time before I take off.”

“Take off? Where?” I start walking around the car. 

“Idunno, somewhere, anywhere! Anywhere away from the Winchesters! All of my problems began when I met you Dean. I’m so tired of it. I’m not wasting any more time with you and your brother.” She looks down to her feet and fidgets with her keys. 

Her eyes widen when she looks back up and finds me standing right in front, towering over her. 

“I’ve gotta have you one last time, then” I growl and haul her against her car. 

“Have me?” She scoffs, always so defiant. She moves her head to the side when I nudge her allowing me to inhale her perfume, and I’m already high. “I’m a person, Dean. You can’t just have me.”

“I can, cause you’re mine!” I declare in her ear, tugging her earlobe between my teeth. My cock twitches when she gasps. I bet she’s so fucking wet. 

“I am not.” 

My hand travels down between our bodies and I see her eyes rolling to the back of her head when my touch lingers over the exposed skin on her cleavage, but I keep going down, till I take a hold of her left hand and lift it up, to show her that stupid ring I gave her when I came back from purgatory. 

“See, you’re mine, and you know it.” I lick her jaw and she trembles beneath me. 

“You died, Dean” she says in a croaky voice. 

“That doesn’t mean anything with me and you know it!” I spread her legs with my own and push her down to my thigh. 

Her clothed pussy feels warm, I’m sure it must be boiling hot to the naked touch. I press up and watch as her mouth hangs open and she wills herself to remain unchanged, to not show me how much she enjoys it. 

“Come on, Y/N. You love it when I take control and do with you what I want.” My hands move, dropping hers and then I placed both over her shoulders, applying enough pressure to have her involuntarily squirming in the middle of the parking lot. 

“Dean.” She moans my name and I feel her slick soaking through her clothes and mine. 

“That’s it.” I encourage her, as my thumbs slip under her top feeling the soft skin above her breasts. 

The tip of my boots digs deeper into the gravel, I rub myself against her harder and I can’t help the chuckle when I notice her hips rotating, moving with purpose. Searching for her release and her hands fisting my shirt. 

“Fuck! You have no idea how hot you look.” I praise her the way I know she likes and my head ducks down to nibble at her jaw. “Make yourself cum, baby.” 

I suck on her throat as she dips her head further back, hitting the roof of the car, dry humping alfresco. “Cum and I’ll take you upstairs and fuck you raw, just the way you like it.”

She starts twirling faster, forcing me to hold my ground. “Oh fuck! Dean!” Her chest heaves and a strangled moan escapes her lips as she convulses on top of me. 

Her head drops to her chest and I lower her slowly, knowing her legs won’t be able to sustain her. I push her face up, index finger and thumb under her chin, brushing my lips to hers. She opens her mouth, chasing a kiss that’ll never come and I laugh. “Let's go.”

 

She walks around the small room I shared with Crowley not a day ago, naked, scratching her head like she always does when she’s thinking. “Have something to drink?” She bites her lip again. The disheveled hair, smudge lipstick and mascara stained cheeks give her an extra touch of sexyness. 

“There’s a Jack in the closet” I nod towards it and proceed to wipe the mess in my crotch with the t-shirt I was wearing earlier .

She comes back to bed holding the bottle in one hand, and I see her take a swing before I snatch the bottle from her lips. I chug at it, feeling the liquor burning down my throat. It makes me cough. It’s burning more that usual, a lot more. 

My entrails are on fire! 

She stands as my hands claw my neck, grabs my wrists and cuff them to the headboard quickly before doing the same with my ankles. 

“Bitch! What did you do to me!?” I shout, my voice raspy. 

She takes her phone from her clothes and shows me the tiny silver flask in her palm as she dials. “Sam?” she speaks, “Gotem. Come on up.”


	12. Another Man's Afterglow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This Chapter takes place between Season 5 episode 23 'Swang Song' and Aeason6 episode 1 'Exile in Main ST' Dean's gone, Sam just came back from hell but he's not entirely him. Y/N's heartbroken and finds a way to relieve her frustations.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part 12 of The Truth About Love series (inspired by P!nk’s album, The Truth About Love). My Entry for @mrs-squirrel-chester Album Fanfic Writting Challenge.  
> The series tells parts of the story of Y/N and Dean Winchester, throughout the years, switching from differents POVs. It will be post weekly and each chapter would be inspired on a song from the CD, following the order of the album, which means the story won’t be in chronological order.  
> This part is inspired on track #12 ‘Where Did The Beat Go?’

His hands on my skin awoke the sleeping hunger, his touch was like fire and I longed for the scalding sensation. It’s been too long. 

I don't’ know what it was. But there was definitely something different about him, ever since he showed up on my doorstep. A month after what happened that fateful evening at Stull Cemetery.

He pulled me towards him, fisting my clothes and made me sit on top of him, my legs straddling his hips and hanging by the sides of the chair.

“I always wanted you, Y/N!” The way my name sounded rolling around his tongue just spurred me on. I tilted my head to the side, giving him access to my neck, where he sucked at my pulse joint. 

And I allowed him, I allowed him to marked me as his. Something I never let anybody else do. Nobody. My fingernails dug in his back and neck as I succumbed to his will. 

Expert fingers unclasped my bra and I pulled it out from under my sleeve, letting my breast hung under the shirt I was still wearing for a second before his mouth wrapped around one hard nipple, gnawing it through the cotton fabric, I squirmed on his lap. 

His other hand slipped past the waistband of my sweats to feel my wetness, growling against my chest as he found me dripping. I never confessed though, it was only in part for him and part for the man I pictured doing what he was doing in my mind.

He stood up. Fingers gripping my thighs, hard enough to leave bruises, my legs wrapped around his narrow waist as he carried me to the staggered old wooden table. He pushed books, files and his laptop to the ground with a long arm before laying me on the chipped varnished surface. 

I propped up to my elbows to see him kneeling between my legs, and I gasped, an unwanted gasp when he pulled my pants down in one quick motion. Exposing my body to him. 

Suddenly I felt self-conscious about my hairy legs and untrimmed pubes. He held my legs open and stared up at me, cocksure grin on his face and he chuckled before burying his face between my soaking folds. 

“Fffuck!” I couldn’t help it. I couldn’t help the pleasure his sinful lips provoked as he tugged a my clit. He lapped and nibbled. Big long fingers found their way inside me and he knew exactly how to move them, how to crooked them, how to pumped them, how to make me explode.

My fingers tangled in his hair and the rambling feeling of him grunting against my pussy as I pulled at his hair was the most stimulating thing I felt in a long time. And I came. 

I came moaning and sobbing, overwhelmed with pleasure, overwhelmed with guilt. I wanted it too much. I tried to pushed his head away, but it was pointless, he was determined to keep going. Fingers caressing that sensitive spot, lips and tongue working at the same time. 

It all happened too fast, I came, again, harder this time and his ministrations never relented, there was a blinding light and a bolt of lightning ran through my body. Arousal gushed from me and I went limp. 

“Oh my god.” I whimpered and he carried me to the bed like I was weightless. 

He laughed ripping the clothes from his body. “Nah, just me. Sam.” 

He climbed in the bed, positioning himself between my legs, aligning himself with me. He was vicious, unmerciful, animalistic. He had one goal in mind and one goal only. 

My nails bit down on the tanned, taut skin of his broad shoulders, he was pure muscle where his brother had smooth rounded edges. I shut my eyes tight as his kept turning from blue-is hazel to green. His cock reached deeper that Dean’s ever would.

Tears streamed down my face. I wanted to scream his name, but had to bit down my lips each time as I never truly figured out which one it was. His perfectly symmetric features appeared behind closed lids, I pushed the image away.

His loving words replaced with grunts and moans. I linked my legs behind Sam’s back. Adjusting my position, allowing the friction to haul me, take me away. It only lasted a minute, but it was enough. 

I didn’t feel so guilty the second time it happened, or the third, not even the forth. The impassioned attachment I still felt for Dean vanished a little more every time Sam buried himself in me. 

It was different, it wasn’t love, it was sex. It was about pleasure, it was about utter relief, about primal necessities. And the few undisturbed minutes of afterglow, where I allowed myself to think of Dean. Of Dean with her...

Yes, I pushed him away and right to her arms. Yes, I told him to leave, I told him I didn’t want him anymore. I lied to avoid telling him the truth, I’d never be able to give him what he wanted. So I lied.

I lied and he left. He never fought… Never fought for us, for me.


	13. The Great Escape

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Characters/Pairing: Dean x Reader, Sam, Bobby, Ruby, Lilith
> 
> Warnings: Season 3 spoilers, ANGST, major character death
> 
> Chapter summary: The events of this chapter take place on episode 16 season 3 ‘No Rest for the Wicked’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This part is inspired on track #13 ‘The Great Escape’

You couldn’t listen to the plan anymore, couldn’t bare the thought of Dean leaving you behind, to keep you safe. You needed to keep him safe. To keep him alive… Instead you were watching him, Sam and Bobby argue about the morals of killing a little girl.

A possessed little girl.

You pushed through them, pushing Dean by the chest until his back hit the wall. The other men in the little room stared at you in shock, thinking maybe you were now one of the demons after him. Dean lift a hand to his brother, in order to stop him.

“I could punch you in the middle of the nose right now!” You panted through clenched teeth, tears prickling on the corner of your eyes. “Knock you out and leave you here, safe. Until I kill that fucking bitch!”

“Y/N.” Dean sighed cupping your face with his calloused hands. “You’re not gonna watch me checking out of this place.”

Sobbing your close your eyes shut, letting the tears flow down your cheeks. “Shut up! I’m coming with you, Dean!”

“Y/N.” He started to protest.

“You can’t stop me. I’m gonna keep you alive, Dean. I’m not gonna lose you. You won’t die today.” You hands fist around his clothes pulling him closer to you. “This fight ain’t over for ya.”

With his hands still around your face he leans closer, placing a loving kiss on your forehead and then on your lips. “Dean… I need to- I need to tell ya-”

“We need to move!” Bobby interrupted. .

“I’ll tell you when all of this is over, and we escape this… Together” You took one of his hand and moved it to your chest and the other to your stomach.” Dean gave you a weird look.

“Now!” Bobby demanded.

Everything happened too fast, Ruby, appearing out of nowhere, Lilith escaping the little girl’s body. The clock announcing midnight and the hellhounds, the fucking hellhounds.

“It’s not Ruby! It’s not her!!” Dean shouted and Sam was thrown up to the wall, the knife falling from his hand.

“No!!” You screamed and jumped in front of Dean as he lay unable to move on top of the table.

Lilith chuckled, her eyes turning white, an orange light glowed from her hand hitting you right in the middle of your body. Dean shouting your name over and over was the last thing you will remmeber forever.


End file.
